October: Breast Cancer Awareness

Breast cancer is the most common cancer found in women, with the exception of a skin cancer.  Statistics show that approximately “252,710 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S., along with 63,410 new cases of non-invasive (in situ) breast cancer” in 2017.  With those high numbers, it’s likely that someone you know has been or will be diagnosed with it.

My mother-in-law was one of those unlucky women who was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She was diagnosed in late 2014 after a yearly mammogram showed a lump.  Miraculously, it was found at “Stage 0” which, up to that point of time, I wasn’t aware was a real thing.  It was found early enough that she could start treatment immediately and her oncologist believed she could make a full recovery.

Fortunately, the radiation was started early enough and she is now cancer-free.  But those radiation months were awful to witness as a bystander.  She had multiple side effects from the radiation, including fatigue, a skin reaction that wouldn’t go away and pain, to name a few.  She showed me the skin reaction she was having, but her fatigue was the most noticeable.  There were days when she barely got out of bed because of how exhausted she was.  She had to completely stop working because, at the time of her diagnosis, she had been taking care of elderly patients and could no longer do that.  But in the end, it was all worth it.  As I said earlier, she made a full recovery and is still cancer-free as of today.

My grandmother, on the other hand, was not quite so lucky.

My grandmother had been diagnosed with lung cancer when I was in middle school.  She was a heavy smoker throughout her life.  She did quit smoking prior to the diagnosis, but unfortunately, it was too late.  She had many bouts of chemotherapy, all of which were unable to prevent the disease from spreading.  The cancer had spread to her breasts.  In an attempt to prevent the breast cancer from spreading any further, she underwent a double mastectomy.

I met her for the second time following the double mastectomy.  The first time I was approximately 2 years old and obviously have no memory of it.  The second time was when I was in middle school.  She lived in Texas with my grandpa, and since I’m from the east coast approximately 21 hours away, it wasn’t often we were able to make the treck down there.  But we did make the trip one summer while I was in middle school, and it was one of the best summers I can remember.

I met her when she had a wrap on her head because she lost her hair.  I met her when her voice was hoarse and body appeared frail.  But despite these physical attributes and her diagnosis, she was full of life.  I played cards with her, and often times I won, so much so that she would joke and call me a cheater.  I played dominoes and other board games with her.  We sat around the table talking about anything and everything until at least one in the morning every day.  We went to her family’s farm and she told me stories of how she grew up in the small town of Rockdale, an hour east of Austin.  We went fishing in Rockport and I learned how terrible I was but how phenomenal she was.  She was an absolutely amazing cook, and she’s the reason my dad knows how to cook so well today.  She was a warrior, she was courageous, and she battled as hard as she could until she couldn’t anymore.

My grandma passed away in early November that same year, just a few short months after I had visited her.  That summer had been the last time I saw her alive, but it was the best summer I had had up to that point.

This October, if you are able to, consider donating to these organizations who provide free mammograms, give informational packets to those diagnosed, conduct research for better understanding of the disease, and give financial assistance to those who are diagnosed and have undergone treatment:

• National Breast Cancer Foundation
• Breast Cancer Research Foundation
• The Pink Fund
• The Breast Cancer Coalition Fund

It’s important to remember that no amount is too little.  Whatever amount you donate will truly help someone who needs it.

Emily

Throwback Thursday: Getting my tattoos

“Tattoos…are the stories in your heart written on your skin.”

-Charles De Lint, The Mystery of Grace

Four years ago, I was a quiet little freshman in college driving home on a random weekend for my first scheduled tattoo appointment.  I had a lot of cash from graduation cards from my friends and family, and I knew that getting a tattoo is where I wanted to spend some of it.

I was always told by my parents that I could get a tattoo, as long as it wasn’t something mindless and there was some sort of meaning behind it.  As long as it meant something to me, it was okay.

So I began talking to my sister, who is a phenomenal artist (I just wish she sold some of her things), and I asked her if she would be willing to draw a tattoo that would be for my grandmother who passed away of cancer.  I didn’t want to just pick out a random one at a tattoo shop.  I wanted something unique that would mean even more to me.  She agreed, so she drew a pretty flower design (the one you can see on the featured image) and I immediately fell in love with it.  I knew it was the perfect piece to describe how beautiful my grandmother was and everything I felt she represented.

The stars in the tattoo are lavender to signify the cancer ribbon that represents all cancers, whereas the pink of the flower is because her lung cancer (which is a white ribbon- I didn’t want to incorporate white into the tattoo because I’m too pale) spread to her breasts and she had to get a double mastectomy.  So the pink is to represent her breast cancer.

Tattoos are painful, but I was strong enough to not cry because of the pain.  I did cry, but that was for an entirely different reason.  My sister’s ex-boyfriend’s mom (long story, but they stayed close after my sister and the mom’s son broke up) also had cancer, and during the time I was getting the tattoo, she had started going through chemo again.  She was never one to go bald or wear some type of hat or anything to cover up her bare head.  She always wore wigs.  My sister decided to send me pictures of her trying on wigs in the middle of my session and I ended up bursting into tears because I know my grandma went through exactly what she was going through.  Debi ended up passing away two years ago, also from cancer.

That first tattoo was completed in October of 2010, whereas the “so it goes…” was done the following March during my Spring Break from college.  While I was in high school, I had to read Slaughterhouse-Five which immediately stuck with me, despite most of the books I had to read for school.  I don’t know if it was the way Vonnegut wrote it or just the content of the book itself, but it intrigued me.  And I immediately fell in love with how the character would say “So it goes…” whenever something bad occurred.  I connected with the character because I realized we can’t help when bad things happen to us.  We can’t predict it, we can’t prepare for it, and we can’t stop those bad things from happening.  What can can do is learn from it and move forward and help those bad events change us for the better.  I couldn’t help that my grandmother was sick, or that I only met her a few times before she passed away (she lived in Texas and I live in the northeast), but what I could do is remember every single positive memory I had with her while she was on Earth and I cherish them every single day. “So it goes…” to me is that bad things are going to happen no matter what, but we can move on and become stronger because of them.

This tattoo hurt a lot worse than the flower, mainly because I have less fat higher up on my body and the tattoo artist was basically stabbing my ribs with a needle.  I also may or may not have partially blacked out during this process, but this was because I hadn’t eaten much that day.  So on that note: eat before you go get a tattoo.

Anyway, that’s it for tonight’s post!  Tell me about any tattoos you have/the meaning behind them/whether you like or hate tattoos/or a book that stuck with you after you read it!