5 Simple Ways to Unwind After a Stressful Day

Stressful days are not unknown, nor are they uncommon, especially to young adults struggling to get to where they want to be in life.  The past few weeks have been particularly stressful for me due to wedding planning as well as a full workload at my day job.  However, I try not to let my stresses get the best of me.  Here are some of my favorite ways to unwind after a stressful day:

1. Sit out on your porch and get fresh air.  Or, if you don’t have a porch, sit under a tree or on a bench or wherever is most comfortable for you.  There’s something about sitting outside and breathing the fresh air that does wonders for me.  Listening to the birds chirp and the nature around tends to calm all of my worries/stresses.  Ironically, as I write this I’m currently sitting outside on my apartment balcony and I can easily tell you I’m feeling much better than I was earlier today.
2. Read a book.  I know not all of my followers probably read, but sometimes it’s just nice to get away from your life and live someone else’s.  By reading, I escape into another world and focus solely on those characters rather than what’s happening in my life.  I disregard all of my previous stresses of the day and instead attempt to solve the puzzle in the protagonist’s life.
3. Watch TV and drink wine.  If you’re not really into books that much, pick a new show on Netflix or find something on cable to watch, and kick your feet up and relax.  I normally watch one or two hours of TV per day and during that time I try not to work on anything else or even think about anything that’s left on my to-do list.  I normally always pair watching TV with a glass of wine because what’s the harm in that?  Wine helps me to relax, and it makes me tired so I fall asleep easier, which a better night’s sleep would alleviate the stress of being tired the next day.
4. Take a nap.  There is very little that I feel that sleeping doesn’t cure.  Today, for instance, I was so exhausted after my stressful work day that I didn’t feel like exercising or watching TV or cleaning or even writing a blog.  So I took a short 15 minute nap after I got home and I woke up more energized and less stressed.  I was able to finish my workout and now I’m sitting here typing this list up.
5. Exercise.  Last but not least, I love to exercise to alleviate stress.  I know this isn’t for everyone, but exercise does amazing things for my stress levels.  I workout in the evenings for the sole purpose of having the ability to let out all of my frustrations and stresses during my workout.  Using my frustrations and stresses also fuels me and helps me to work out harder and put more oomph into things.  And afterwards I feel more relaxed and calm and am ready to settle in for the rest of the evening.

 

So, after reading this list, are there any things that you do that are the same/that are different than what I do to relax after a long day?  I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts.  Share in the comments below to discuss!

12 Random Facts About Me

In an attempt to make my blog more personal, check out the list below of random facts about me!

1. I’m the youngest child of four, resulting in me being infinitely spoiled by my grandparents as a child and having to learn from my parents at a young age that I, in fact, cannot get everything that I want.
2. Speaking of being the youngest, I always joke about getting the hand-me-down genetics.  To an extent though, I truly do believe it.  I’m only 5 foot half an inch, and I stopped growing in 8th grade.  My two brothers (the oldest two siblings) are both over 6 foot and my older sister is inches taller than me.  So, hand-me-down genetics, right?
3. Being the youngest influenced my parents to bless me with eight names.  Just kidding!  I only have four names but that still confuses everyone- one first name, two middle names, and my last name.  To make matters more confusing, I go by my second middle name.  How?  Two words- my grandma.  She was a saint and helped my parents with me when I was first born (remember, I’m the youngest so my parents were dealing with toddlers and a pre-teen) and she was really in love with the name “Emily,” so when push came to shove, my parents just threw that in after my other middle name because I was the last kid.  I have a hunch that as soon as I was born, my grandma immediately started calling me Emily and that’s how I became stuck with it.  It’s actually a pretty cool story.  Also to note, I have the same name as the royal toddler (Charlotte Elizabeth).  The only difference is the Emily vs. Diana as the second middle name, but I still think it’s pretty cool.
4. I started karate when I was 11.  Chugoku Kenpo Karate, a Japanese style, that literally means “Chinese secret science of the law of the fist and empty hand.”  Also, I was one step away from black belt (in my style, that means a three-striped brown belt) and didn’t move forward to my black belt only because of timing (I was in college, it was difficult to cram all of the testing into summers and holiday breaks).  But I’m very close with my sensei and she’s like a second mom to me.  She’s the first person in the first row on the left.
5. I have done other sports, too!  Karate was my first love, but running is a close second.  I did cross-country and track from middle school through college.  In fact, I just ran my first half-marathon in my hometown last weekend!
   

   

   Two hours and nineteen minutes later…

6. And that handsome man in that picture is my fiancé, who I met in college and have been dating for four years, engaged for two, and who I’m getting married to in just 17 short days!  And in reference to my names that I listed earlier, I told Kyle I was going to hyphenate as a joke to just continue the ridiculous length of my name.
7. Speaking of weddings, I have a kickass pair of heels that I splurged on (treat yo’ self!) but I actually HATE shoes.  I mean I love the heels that I got and I really am looking forward to wearing them, but I hate anything being on my feet, unless they’re sandals where my feet can breathe.  (This means I hate socks, too!). As a side note, when I say “splurge” I really only mean like $60, which is WAY better than what I spend on running shoes (~$100) but it still doesn’t sit well with me to spend that much on one thing.
8. I love walking and running and hiking and traveling to new places.  I’ve been to several states in the US, but I’ve also fortunately had opportunities to travel to England and Germany.  Next on my bucket list: Ireland, Italy, and Switzerland, hopefully!
   

   
9. Here’s a weird one for you that I’m sure not many people can relate to: I HATE cheese.  Absolutely hate it.  Hate the smell, hate the taste, hate the texture.  I’m un-American (my fiancé’s words, not mine).  I’m not sure what happened.  I used to love Mac and cheese as a kid, along with cheesy pizza, but something clicked one day and I gagged when I bit into a previously thought delicious slice of Papa John’s pizza.  To the people who love cheese but cannot have it due to their digestive systems, I’m the worst, and I apologize for my un-Americanness.
10. Speaking of weird things, I have an irrational fear of…..water.  Yep, you read that right.  Whenever I go into a pool, or an ocean, I have to stay in a level where my feet can always touch the ground.  I know what you’re thinking- can you swim, can you tread water?  I can do both of those things.  However, for whatever reason, the moment I’m in a body of water that’s deeper than neck level, I freak out because that’s when I have to be on tippy toes and any further I feel like I’ll drown.  You guys probably think I’m so weird by this point.
11. But something that’s pretty cool and un-weird is my love for tattoos.  I love how the same designs (i.e. Harry Potter tattoos) can mean something completely different to another person, and I love how you can express what you’re feeling on your body.  I have two tattoos, and they’re both for my grandma on my dad’s side who passed away of lung/metastasized breast cancer.  She lived in Texas so I only met her a handful of times before she passed away, but she made a huge, positive impact on my life.  The first tattoo I got was a flower that was designed by my sister.  The second tattoo was from my favorite book, “Slaughterhouse-Five,” and it lists the famous quote, “So it goes…”  My sister and I got that one together in almost the same spot on our bodies.  She has also designed another tattoo from Slaughterhouse-Five with the quote “Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt” in remembrance of my grandparents on my mom’s side (yes, the grandma who gave me my name).  But that is a story for another time.
12. Lastly before this post gets absurdly long, I clean when I’m upset.  Why?  I have no idea.  I supposed it relieves stress?  Any psychologists have any idea why I do this?

 

I’d love to learn about you!  Share a random fact (or several, if you wish), or even rant to me about my un-Americanness in the comments section.  I look forward to reading them!

Growing Confidence: What Tonight Taught Me About Myself

Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice – Steve Jobs

I have never had a lot of confidence in myself.  It’s something I’ve struggled with since I was younger, but it’s something I’ve been constantly working on to improve.  My confidence started growing more when I started taking karate, and I realized tonight that it’s continuing to grow stronger.

The past few days I’ve been running outside because the weather has been absolutely beautiful.  Tonight, I decided to do a Blogilates cardio workout (that was actually on the September calendar from yesterday- I switched my off days around) to get a good warm up in.  Now for the record, my usual move after doing the warm up video is to either repeat it a few times to get a solid cardio workout in or I continue with the rest of what’s on the calendar for that day.  But tonight was different.  Tonight I decided to practice karate.

I stepped outside of my small, one bedroom apartment to the little grassy area right in front of my door, took a deep breath, and started practicing.

I can’t even tell you the last time I practiced anything from karate, but it’s amazing how muscle memory works.  It felt like it had only been a week, if that, since I had practiced last.  Granted, I need a lot more practice to be as strong and crisp as I once was, but I definitely felt my movements being somewhat crisp.  My arms stopped exactly where they were supposed to (most of the time), and my stances were nearly as steady as they used to be.  I was giving it my all, which you can usually tell by how hard you’re breathing after doing one Kata (although, me being slightly out of breath may have been because I’m still building my endurance up through running, and would need to do the same for karate as well).  It felt great to be back at it again.

One thing you learn in karate is to focus.  You need focus in order to do any of the movements, to envision the fight so you punch/block/strike/or kick correctly, and to block out all of the sounds around you to keep you from getting distracted.  That’s what I did.  I paid no mind to the birds chirping around me, the cars driving past, or the people talking across the street at the little store.  The only time I ever paid attention to those distractions was when I was taking my water breaks after practicing a few Katas.

That’s when I sensed it.  I could feel someone was looking at me, so I glanced away from my water bottle to see one of my neighbors standing in his yard looking straight at me.  It was only a short time after that that I heard him say, “Yeah, I see her!  She’s in the black and green.”  He then proceeded to laugh.

I could tell he was speaking about me not only because he described exactly what colors I was wearing, but also because he was staring right at me.

If this would’ve happened a few years ago, I probably would’ve been in tears because of someone judging me.  Or I would’ve been ashamed and walked inside and pretended that I never went outside to practice at all.

I didn’t do any of those things.  Instead, I laughed it off.  I smiled at the guy as I saw him staring at me (which I hope he noticed) and started practicing the next Kata.  I’m not afraid to practice karate in the front of my apartment, nor am I ashamed at it.  Do I look funny throwing moves at the air with no one around?  Probably.  But that’s the entire purpose of them- you get the chance to practice all of the basics you know but in an organized form and envision a fight so that if you’re ever in a bad situation, you know how to react.  Your muscles remember.

I can only imagine who he was talking to or what the other person was saying in response, but I’m not going to waste my time on something like that.  Karate has brought me so much happiness.  It’s been there for me at some of the hardest points in my life.  So why would I be ashamed of practicing it right outside the comfort of my own apartment?  Why should I be ashamed?

The answer is I shouldn’t, and I’m not.  I was so comfortable practicing the Katas outside of my door, even as cars passed by.  I was confident.  For once in my life, I didn’t care about what people were thinking as they drove by or walked past.  I’m not bothered by my random neighbor laughing at me.

I realized tonight that I’m more confident in myself than I believe, and that I have the ability to do whatever I want without needing acceptance or approval from anyone else.  Tonight I did something because I wanted to do it, and I got laughed at, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to practice, and I can honestly tell you that it never will.

Throwback Thursday: My childhood love

“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow.  So do it.”

-Kurt Vonnegut

It was a very chilly Tuesday or Thursday in October 12 years ago when I received an interesting phone call from my best friend, Heather.  She called to see if I would be interested in going to a karate class with her just to watch and to see if I would be interested in joining if I liked it enough.  She said she had gone for the past week and a half and loved it, and she thought I would like it, too.  That was the beginning of it all.

At that time, I was a very shy girl.  I was only 10, I only had a few close friends who I hung out with, and I mainly kept to myself unless someone spoke to me, in which case I answered in a mousy voice.  I looked down when I walked because I wasn’t confident enough to look at people who passed me by.  I didn’t know how I would like being surrounded by complete strangers, but I thought I’d give it a chance because I always thought karate sounded cool.

I got the OK from my parents, even though I was supposed to stay home and help unpack since we recently moved into another house.  Heather picked me up on her way to the dojo (place of practice; gym or school) and we were on our way!

When we got there, I was a little confused.  We showed up to a house in my development and I didn’t quite understand how there was a karate gym in the house.  But sure enough, there was a small one in the basement, and the house was actually owned by a married couple who also participated in karate.  When you entered the basement, there was an area for shoes over to the right and a line of chairs for parents and smaller children to the left.  I took my seat and mainly sat quietly with Heather’s mom Donna while Heather participated.  I immediately fell in love with the style.  I loved everything they did, from their katas (free forms) to their kicks and punches.  I knew that I had to participate.  This was also the first night that I spoke with my Sensei (teacher).

Sensei Donna walked up to me after class and asked if I felt like this would be something I would want to do, and explained the cost and everything with the style.  She also explained everything that makes this style of karate and the school itself unique.  I barely responded to her honestly because I was so shy, but I believed everything she was saying.  I went home that night to speak to my parents and they agreed to let me join temporarily to see if I liked it.  But I fell even more in love once I started, and the rest I suppose is history.

I went through a lot of ups and downs during my 11 years of practice.  They saw me in the most awkward time of my life and still treated me the same.  They became family.  It soon became my outlet whenever I was upset with family issues or stressed over schoolwork.  I somehow managed to do both karate and track/cross-country for a few years, because I refused to give up two things that I loved so much.  I worked my ass off and helped one of my friends get her black belt at 16, the youngest my school would allow students to test for black belt.  When she took her test, she was tested in our dojo here and we had to film it to send it to the head of the style who is located in Nevada.  At the time I was only a yellow belt, and he complimented my style, technique, precision, strength, hard work and discipline, all of which he saw from the video, and I still see that as one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received.

A lot changed during those 11 years.  I saw many faces come and go, as many students either gave up or couldn’t afford to spend the time or money with the style.  We moved from the small basement to a renovated community building.  I saw many people push through the pain of breaking wood.  I saw several of my friends get over their mind block and pass their tests to get the next belt.  I helped many people advance by helping teach, something that was relatively new to me and completely different to who I used to be.

Truth is, I completely changed during my time practicing karate.  I’m no longer that small, scared little girl who looked down when walking/spoken to/or when speaking to someone.  My confidence grew because of karate.  When other people, especially my Sensei, believed in me, I began to believe in myself.  Some of the younger students even began looking up to me, and that brought so much joy to my heart.  I’m so happy that my love and passion for this sport showed through my performance so that those younger kids felt they could look up to me and want to be like me.  And I feel like this is one of my greatest accomplishments.

In my post from Tuesday, you learned that I’m no longer in West Virginia where my karate school is.  One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was to tell them that I was leaving, and I didn’t know when I would be back.  It was different when I went to college; I had breaks throughout the year and summer to count on to work my butt off for 3 1/2 hours every Tuesday and Thursday.  This time I would try to come back as often as I could, but I couldn’t guarantee many visits.  I cried when I told them I was leaving, and I completely lost it when I told my Sensei, who has done more for me in my life than a lot of people have.

As of two or so weeks ago, I found out that my Sensei was closing the dojo.  Things are getting pretty tight with money, and there are some personal things going on in her life that she has to focus on.  I can’t blame her.  I really can’t.  And I don’t.  But seeing that status right before I went to bed broke my heart.  I couldn’t believe that something that meant so much to me and that changed my life so much for the better was suddenly disappearing.  Whenever I come home, it won’t be there.  If I feel like stopping by to work out (I have the code for the building), I won’t be able to anymore.  But I was kindly reminded by my wonderful boyfriend while I was hysterically crying, it’s just a building.  Sure, it holds a lot of precious memories and was basically a place where I grew up, but it’s just that; a place.  I still hold all of those memories within my heart.  The people will be around.  I have most of their numbers or are at least friends with them on Facebook so I can keep in touch.  Whenever I go back to West Virginia, I’ll can always make plans to meet up with them.  So the dojo is gone, but the people aren’t.

I am so completely blessed to have known so many wonderful people during my time practicing karate, and I’ll always hold them close to my heart.  I’m incredibly blessed to have such an amazing family.

The featured image is an old picture that was taken of the adult class the last night before I went to college for my freshman year.  I’m the fourth girl from the left.  The girl not in uniform is my best friend, Heather.  She had some health issues and stopped participating, but I wouldn’t have become who I am today without her calling me up that night and asking me if I wanted to go watch.  The girl directly beside me to the right is the girl who I helped test for her black belt.  The woman at the end on the left is my wonderful Sensei, my second mom, my friend, my mentor, my hero.  I’ll never forget what she taught me, both in karate and in life.

After I learned the news about my dojo closing down, I obviously texted Donna to see how she was holding up and I asked her if there was anything else I could do for her, considering everything she had done for me over the past 12 years.  Her response brought tears to my eyes.  It’s always nice knowing how much you mean to someone and that you’re the reason why they feel successful.

Here are some pictures from my last class before my freshman year of college.  I wish I had more recent pictures for you, but sadly I can’t find any.

My best friend Heather and I. My two friends Lindsey (left) and Vikki (right).Mr. Dave, who always brightened my days with his smile.

Boz (middle), who was like my brother.  Funnily enough, he knows both of my brothers and worked with my mom, so I’ve actually known him since I was about 7 or 8.  Adrian (right) is Mr. Dave’s (above) son, and he grew up to be so well disciplined from karate.  I’m happy to say he’s like the little brother I never had.  I always loved sparring him!

Last but not least, Donna.  My Sensei.  One of the most wonderful and kind people I have ever met, and did anything and everything she could to help me out as best as she could.

Because Donna is having such a rough time, one of the more recent additions to my dojo family, Sarah, created this page to donate money to help her out during this rough period of her life, and to say thank you for everything she has done for us.  If you even have just a dollar, every donation would help.  Don’t feel like you have to donate anything.  I don’t want to pressure you.  But I do hope you understand how important karate is to me, and how Donna has changed me and my life for the better.  The link is here for you to look at.  If you don’t want to donate or don’t have the money, don’t feel like you have to.  I won’t be upset if you don’t donate.

If you read all the way through this, thank you.  I hope that you’ll share a story about something that you love as much as I love karate, or a sport that you were as passionate about, or even just about a family that you gained that has improved your life for the better.