As my 24th (yikes!) birthday approaches, it has become more apparent that all of my friends are in different places in their lives than I am. For instance, some of them are married, some of them are focusing on their careers, some of them have kids out of wedlock, some are dating, and some are enjoying the single life and are focusing on their journey to self-discovery. More so, I’m realizing that it’s OK to not be in the same place in my life that my friends are in theirs. So why does society relate each of these lifestyles to a negative connotation when there is no “right” way to live?
- Married: You’re too young to get married! You have your whole life ahead of you- don’t settle so young!
- Focusing on career: You’re only young once! You need to have kids before you’re unable to due to age OR You should be out having fun! Work shouldn’t take over your life!
- Kids out of wedlock: You’re supposed to get married and then have kids…not the other way around. Didn’t you use protection?
- Dating: Just be single! You’re too young to be tied down when you should be out discovering who you are!
- Single life: Why aren’t you dating? Why can’t you get a boyfriend? You’re too pretty to not be in a relationship. All of your other friends have boyfriends.
I’m sure you get it. But here’s the thing- every single person on this planet is unique- so why do we all have to be the same and act the same way and have the same exact ambitions at the same time of our lives? Remember that episode of The Fairly Odd Parents when Timmy wished to be like everyone else after being made fun of and everyone was a gray blob and it was boring? Exactly.
No one on this Earth share the exact same views, even if they are of the same religion. Some churchgoers would see having kids out of wedlock as a sin and would look down upon you for it. Some single men and women would look at engaged people who are young (i.e.: me) and laugh because they believe they’re ruining their lives when in reality those people (including me) believe that their fiancé’s are the best thing that has ever happened to them. People whose friends have kids without being married push them away and mock them for it, when in reality the friend who has the child needs a lot of emotional support from their friends to keep going. And so on and so forth.
Bottom line: There is no right or wrong way to live your life- don’t let others’ negative opinions about your lifestyle change the way you live. Stay true to yourself. The only person you should ever change for is you. But most importantly, remember that it is OK to not be at the same place in life as someone else your age because everyone is different, and that’s how it should be.
Emily's Pensieve 