I apologize once again for taking so long to post this! Hopefully next Saturday will be not quite so busy. I ended up having to clean up a house pretty much all day, and then I was in and out of the house until 12:30 in the morning, which by then I was too tired to write. It (hopefully) won’t happen again!
I sat on the dock leading out to the lake, the warm summer breeze blowing my hair against my bare shoulders. I leaned back with my hands behind me as I dipped my green toes in the clear blue water. As I stared out toward the mountains at the edge of the lake, I heard footsteps approach me from behind. I didn’t have to turn around to know they were his footsteps. They always were.
“I figured I’d find you here,” he said coolly.
I turned my head to the side so I could see him standing a few feet away in a t-shirt and jeans with his hand on the handle of his packed suitcase parked beside him. I turned back to the water before responding. “I see you’re leaving.”
“Jen,” he sighed. “It’s the end of the summer. You know I can’t stay-”
I felt the anger rise to my throat, but I took a breath before reacting. “Summer doesn’t end for another three weeks. You’re bailing-”
“I have to get back to start practicing for soccer,” he interrupted, his voice slightly rising with a hint of anger. “I can’t just stay at the lake forever.”
I rolled my eyes even though I knew he couldn’t see. “I never asked you to, Brandon.”
As he took a step closer to me, leaving his suitcase behind, I caught a whiff of his cologne that, until recently, always felt like home to me. “Jen, you know this won’t work out. Long distance is rough, and considering everything, I can’t say that I exactly want to be with you anymore.”
I got up as quickly as I could and turned to him, showing my face contorted with full-fledged anger. “You don’t want to be with me because you don’t want to be held responsible. You don’t want to be with me because all of a sudden our relationship isn’t as easy as it once was. But this isn’t just my fault! Why do you get to be the one who runs away without taking any responsibility and get to act like nothing happened, when I wear the evidence on my body?” I pointed down to the bottom of my torso that was still flat, but not for long.
He took a step back and said, “I never wanted this. I told you to-”
“To what?!” I interrupted, completely angry now. “To get an abortion? To get rid of this child before he or she even gets the opportunity to live?” I paused for a second before continuing. “You know I wouldn’t be here if my mom made that same decision 17 years ago. Why would I do that to my own kid?” I sighed. “We’ve had this on and off thing for the past few summers, and whenever we go back to our hometowns, we still talk every single day because you know what we have is real. I know we’re only 17 but-”
“It won’t work. I can’t be a dad at 17.”
“And I can’t be a mom at 17, either. But I’m going to have to be. But I guess because you’re the guy, you can just run off and leave everyone else behind.”
He picked up the handle of his suitcase and shook his head. “I’m truly sorry, Jen. Good luck with everything.”
I stood with my hand on my stomach absentmindedly as I stared at him incredulously while he continuously got smaller in the distance. How could someone just walk away from the person they impregnated, without even a second thought. As soon as he was no longer in sight, I turned my back to him just as he turned away from his family and took my spot on the dock, putting my feet back in the water. I leaned back and allowed the rays from the sun warm my body as I tried to enjoy the remainder of the warm summer day.
“We’ll make it, baby, I promise you,” I whispered, looking down at my stomach one last time.
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